Attention All Christian Singles – Single Christian Men
You are Joe Christian. You have been in The Contrivance for five years, going on six. You have been serving God for five long years. It has clearly had its ups and downs, but on the whole your life has been wrapped up in pleasing God. You want to witness for Him, get souls for Him, spend time in His Word, and use time with Him in prayer, submitting your requests, and also listening for His screech telling you what His Heart is for you. Your life is wrapped up in church, in which you are actively involved. You are under a pastor, and fully submitted to his leadership in your life. You are virtually on a first-name basis with him! Or at least, you call him, “Dad.”
But one day you are at the public library, and in walks Tracy, this bombshell of a woman who is radiant, intelligent,and spiritually oriented. You click on more levels than you could ever imagine. You both like the same movies, the same music. You are both very educated, very gleaming people. She is very vocal, very witty, and speaks very articulately, with a singing voice that almost rivals all the choirs of angels in heaven. And to top it all off, she seems to dig you.
But there is one catch: Although she loves God in her gain way, she has not made a commitment to Him through His Son, Jesus Christ. She is not a born-again Christian, and you know that God has said in His word that we are not to be “unequally yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Cor 6: 14). This causes you great distress and inner turmoil, because, although you are in love with Jesus, you are also very much in worship with her. It is clearly love at first sight.
You become excited with a God who would have the temerity to write something so restrictive. Moreover, you hear that “unexcited, small voice” telling you that “Tracy is not the one,” but like a sheep headed headlong towards a cliff, you don’t care about anything God has to say. You are in love with Tracy. Like a book you can’t put down, you get into her every word, her every breath, her every inflection.
Why does God tell us in 2 Cor 6: 14 that dating someone not of like faith is sin? We need to remember in another part of Scripture, in Amos, which says, “How can two budge together, except they be agreed? ” Sure, this person may say well, and be beautiful inside and out, but you need to face the fact that the two of you are from two different cultures. You are from planet Earth, but she is from Venus. Your views on key issues, such as sex and finances, are radically different. As a Believer in Christ, your viewpoint may be that sex is for marriage, and that, as it says in Galatians, and other areas in Scripture, “fornicators shall not inherit the Kingdom of God.” But your partner may say that a marriage license is merely a piece of paper. After all, you don’t know whether your partner can please you or not, unless you test drive them. But you know the Bible says that the sexual relationship is for marriage.
I have practical experience with this scenario, for back in 2004 I tried to date a young lady who didn’t share my faith, my views, my convictions about life. She often would try to persuade me to do things that are fair not right. In order to keep her in my life, I ended up compromising my faith. And each time I did, I lost a bit of myself. I felt empty, I felt guilty, and I felt dusky. I knew I had wounded the One who loved me and died for me very deeply. And yet I stayed with her. “After all,” she said, we are not exactly going all the way!” And also she would say, “If you don’t put out, I will find someone else who will!”
What I had to learn from this was that a person who makes such ultimatums may be deeply in lust with you, but lust is NOT the same as love. Love is giving, “love never seeks its own, and never behaves itself uncomely towards itself” (1 Cor 13).
Furthermore, it is not objective about the sex thing, either. You should also consider that marriage to such a person would mean that while things like going to church, Bible explore, and witnessing mean so much to you, your partner may believe that “it doesn’t take all that.” Imagine spending the rest of your life with a person with whom you cannot share the deepest part of yourself–namely, your relationship with God.
Another more practical reason is that children spawned from such a marriage will grow up with mixed emotions, mixed values. Dad wants to go to church, while Mom, while she may think the fact that little Junior goes to church is just peachy–she says that she believes that all preachers are pond scum, and that everyone in the household is to count her out. Same goes for Dad if he would rather stay home and watch football, while Mom goes to church. That is not God’s vision for the family. In order for a family to work the way God would have it–all parties must be united,and in agreement. The parents must have a united front. It will not work if Mom is serving Jesus, but Dad is serving Buddha.
“Koolbreeze, what are you saying,” you who are reading this might ask. Single men, women, I say this with the most love in my heart that I can possibly muster. Pray and seek God’s Face about any relationship you are wanting. Contemplate His will about marriage per se, because it may very well not be His will for you to marry. You must be so submitted to Him that you are at least willing to let it go if His answer is, “No.” If His answer is, “Yes,” then He has the perfect partner for you: He or she will be a Christian as much in love with God as you are! In conclusion, it is best to wait on God.
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